Red Red Bed Head

Amsterdam

2010-03-02T02:25:00.000-05:00

I'm leaving for Amsterdam in 3 days. Three days, guys. That is so soon.

An Homage to Baudelaire: A loose translation of Fleur de mal: Spleen III

2010-02-20T02:07:00.006-05:00

I stopped posting poetry here because most of the time the poems weren't "finished" works, and you don't want to read my garbage do you? Plus, I'm paranoid that someone will steal something from me. Right, because it's worth stealing?

No one is going to steal this one. It's a very loose translation of Spleen III from Fleur de mal, followed by the original poem. I <3 Baudelaire.

I am like the king of a foggy burg,
an aged beggar, a wealthy child,
bored of his wretched teachers, wasting
cool afternoons with dogs, no reprieve
of listlessness as skeletons assemble
on his marble step. The fool's song
a hapless off-key mess falling on dull ears,
his chaise grande towers ten heads high, his
mottled maids, once worth a glance or two,
scarcely stir excitement in his wilting heart.
A heart the king's necromancer failed
to turn gold, as the thickest, reddest
Roman baths of blood could not warm
his ghastly bag of limp limbs, his translucent
alien form flowing with green death.

Spleen III
by Charles Baudelaire

Je suis comme le roi d'un pays pluvieux,
Riche, mais impuissant, jeune et pourtant très-vieux,
Qui, de ses précepteurs méprisant les courbettes,
S'ennuie avec ses chiens comme avec d'autres bêtes.
Rien ne peut l'égayer, ni gibier, ni faucon,
Ni son peuple mourant en face du balcon.
Du bouffon favori la grotesque ballade
Ne distrait plus le front de ce cruel malade;
Son lit fleurdelisé se transforme en tombeau,
Et les dames d'atour, pour qui tout prince est beau,
Ne savent plus trouver d'impudique toilette
Pour tirer un souris de ce jeune squelette.
Le savant qui lui fait de l'or n'a jamais pu
De son être extirper l'élément corrompu,
Et dans ces bains de sang qui des Romains nous viennent,
Et dont sur leurs vieux jours les puissants se souviennent,
Il n'a su réchauffer ce cadavre hébété
Où coule au lieu de sang l'eau verte du Léthé.

I AM SUCH A FAILURE.

2009-12-07T00:31:00.004-05:00

T. S. Eliot's The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock was PUBLISHED when he was 27. What the hell.

Whew! I'm back in Philly.

2009-11-30T15:50:00.004-05:00

I spent the last week in Auburn, AL for Thanksgiving with my boyfriend's family. Auburn, home of Auburn U, is a quaint college town in eastern Alabama. There weren't many rednecks. A lot of Southern folk, definitely, but I met more liberal types than anything else. Patrick's parents were super swell. If I could aspire to be a couple when I get older, it'd probably be them. Usually, spending a week with the (someday in the future) in-laws the first time you meet them is recipe for disaster, but I cannot express how great they are. Sometimes I feel like the luckiest lady in the world, having him in my life. All right, now I'm just embarrassing myself. I hardly took any pictures, but here are a few:

This is where I ate my Thanks giving meal this year. It was so beautiful:

Here's Patrick. You can see their interesting house in the background:

Anyway. I'm back, and I definitely missed Philly.

Where did they take her?

2009-11-19T00:09:00.002-05:00

Oh god. This video makes me laugh hysterically every time:

This is all you are getting tonight. I just wrote 5 pages and rewrote the plot to my short story for fun. FOR FUN.

International Year of Astronomy 2009

2009-11-18T13:48:00.001-05:00

You may already be aware of the International Year of Astronomy 2009 project. Check out the mission statement, it's a great initiative. You may not be aware of these fantastic retro prints for the project by Simon Page. They are fun and beautiful, and they were just made available for purchase. I'll definitely buy one or two of them.

Check them out at his store.

I wanna crack that skull right open!

2009-11-18T12:56:00.000-05:00

Philly's got the bug. No, not bed bugs. The bike bug. And with that, comes a whole lot of pissed off people. I'm definitely one of them. I hate people riding on the sidewalk, going the wrong way down one way streets, swerving in and out of traffic, and dangerously running red lights. And most of these new bike rules that the City Council is hoping to pass are great. However, I have some bones to pick:

What is up with the no headphones law? Sure, to some, it might seem dangerous. The idea of it, at least. But I ride with headphones almost every day (arrest me, hurry!), and I can hear EVERYTHING happening around me. It's never impaired my ability to ride safely. Maybe I'm missing something big on this one, but I just don't get it. It seems like a blatant money grab for broke Philly politicians.
Why aren't they enforcing any kind of mandatory bike helmet law? We have mandatory seat belt laws for cars, right? They're trying to enforce fixie lovers with bikes sans brakes to either pay $1000 or hand over their bikes. You'd think a helmet law would be a logical step in all this.
Where is the big campaign to get riders to actually learn what is lawful and what is not? Honestly, the people I see riding on sidewalks are mostly immigrants and young kids. You know, people I'd actually believe didn't know any better. I think we'd be better off doing widespread multilingual campaigns (signs, commercials, people walking around in high bike traffic areas, etc.) for bike safety rather than just straight up enforcing these laws.

Okay, /rant. I'm going to finish this muffin and actually start working.

Satan's Fingers, The Killers, and The Hospital Bombers

2009-11-18T00:25:00.008-05:00

Guess who just emailed me! Claudia (fucking) Gonson! She's seriously the bees knees. Unfortunately, she did report that there are no current plans for a Philadelphia show for the Magnetic Fields. Oh well, Patrick and I will go to the DC show probably.

I'm also missing The Mountain Goats' show in Philadelphia because I will be in Alabama. If you're in Philly on the 28th of November, be sure to check them out at the TLA. Here's one of my favorite songs:

All right, enough music talk. Time to go read/write (real stuff!) for a bit. Night!

Brought to you by:

Sometimes I blog like this.

Not if I could sing like a bird...

2009-11-17T19:04:00.007-05:00

The Magnetic Fields are touring again in 2010. I was fortunate enough to see them when they toured in 2008, because according to their website, they're not planning to come back to Philly. I emailed on a whim to find out if they do have plans to, but I haven't received a response. They're all fantastically talented people, and the MF is my favorite of Stephin Merrit's projects. Here's a video from their 2008 tour performing "All My Little Words":

They put on a beautiful show. I'd certainly be willing to go to NYC or DC to see them.

Oh, and here's a non-live song. A little different. A little electro synth-pop kinda thing. It's one of my favorites:

Enjoy!

Shooooooot her!

2009-11-17T14:13:00.005-05:00

It's always about this time of year, when I just start eating too much, that I panic and consider joining the gym or some other nonsense. Except this year, holy shit, I'm 25! That's more than a quarter of my life. It could be only half my life. I've spent the last 10 years doing and eating whatever I want and not changing in any meaningful way. (I can't pinpoint the exact year in which I stopped "growing" and gaining weight, but I'm sure it was somewhere around 15 or 16 years of age.) So, the year that it stops working that way will be a scary one. Mostly because I never cared enough about my weight to even buy a scale. I've been fairly comfortable about it. I'm willing to admit that I'm not perfect, but I think I'm doing okay most of the time. I know someone will probably read this and want to stab me in the face. I know it's not easy for a lot of people. I have family members that struggle with weight problems. I've honestly never really had to worry about it much. And I've taken advantage of that. That said, perhaps after this move, if I am actually spending less per month on rent/utilities, I'll actually go back to the gym and start running/working out. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps!

(This post is inspired by the scrumptious pumpkin cake with cream cheese frosting sitting in our refrigerator. Thank you, thank you very much.)

"Love will be there in the morning."

2009-11-16T23:27:00.003-05:00

Okay, I'm sorry. I lied. This is actually the best part.

They've come to find you, odalisque

2009-11-16T22:47:00.004-05:00

So, I'm really digging my new set up. Check it:

None of my books are here yet, except for the pile on my desk and the few I carry around with me.

That tea is cold. I'm still drinking it.

The best part.

His

and Hers

See? We're so cute it's flippin' disgusting. All right. Time to get to work!

Testing...

2009-11-16T20:51:00.000-05:00

Testing!

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE?!

2009-11-16T18:33:00.003-05:00

I'm the only one in my office right now, so I'm blasting the The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly soundtrack. Morricone makes any situation more badass. Even boring spreadsheet work.

WANT:

2009-11-16T17:47:00.003-05:00

I really want this squareroot table. Preeeetty.

L-o-l-a, Lola

2009-11-16T14:17:00.006-05:00

What badasses...

Seriously. Can I be in your band? Please?

Fuck it. I love Neil Diamond, and I don't even care.

2009-11-16T11:04:00.005-05:00

Look how sexy we are. I feel like I've met my "other", if that makes any sense. I definitely wrote my character David's back story with a little inspiration from how I feel now. I never (and currently don't) believe in true love, but holy shit. Sometimes I can imagine it. Hardcore.

Your mom treats objects like women!

2009-11-16T01:31:00.009-05:00

I can't get this poem finished. It's really frustrating, but I guess that's what it's all about. Since it's been awhile, I'll post the disgusting half devoured skeleton of the poem for you to read. Enjoy! Remember, of course, that it's not finished:

My dress swelled on the threshold,
the wind silently invading my home
The doorjamb towered above me,
Every quiet immaculate good bye
with freckled lips and pale eyes
calm and chaotic crashing waves
Five steps down, no turning back,
and my feet wavered beneath me

BLARG. In other news, I finally got a desk set up in the house:

2009-10-04T17:32:00.004-04:00

I'll have to go when the whistle blows, the whistle blows my name. Baby I was born on a train.

Run on sentences FTW!

2009-09-03T00:29:00.008-04:00

I'm so head-over-heels, for sure, unbelievably, without a doubt in love with P that my head spins, and my heart races, and my cheeks get a little rosy, and I can't help but smile and close my eyes and just savor it. It's rare that I'm certain of things in my life. I doubt things constantly. But this is one of those things that I just know is right. I have no desire to make him into something he isn't. I love every centimeter of him. I love the way he looks into my eyes. I love his soft hands. I love that he kicks ass at Rock Band. I love that he eats meat. I love his feet. I love that he loves science. I love how sexy he is on his bike. I love the way he plays with my hair. I love that when we spoon it feels like the most perfect thing that's ever happened to me. I love that he's always trying. I love when he sings along with a song playing on the stereo. I love when he calls me baby, darling, love, or honey bunny. I love being with him, and I love missing him when he's not around. I love him.

Swoon worthy, f'sho.

2009-08-02T16:45:00.009-04:00

I did a Google image search for "swoon worthy" (because I search these things from time to time,) and found some fairly amusing images. But seriously. This guy: Vince Vaughn, with his pin striped double breasted suit with a sharp tie, fedora, vintage camera, and smirk, is seriously WTF-how-is-he-so-fucking-dreamy swoon worthy. You wanna take a picture of me? I'll let you. I'll take my shirt off too, as long as you promise to keep your photos all to yourself. Yes, you can get some of them printed in black and white and hang them around your apartment, as long as they are framed tastefully. Oh, you want to roll around in bed? Sure, I'm down. You can hang up your suit in my closet so it doesn't get wrinkled. I'll help you take it off. Yes, I have a coat rack, and you can definitely hang your hat there. Are you sure you don't want to wear it to bed? I made you a scarf. I'm happy you love it. It looks dashing with your suit and coat. Sure, I'll go ice skating with you, but only if you hold my hand. Oh, you are bad at it too?

Oh dear. I can't wait for cooler weather. Rosy cheeks, string lights, snow, suits and sweaters and knit hats and soft scarves, warm beds and cuddles.

Epic Fail!

2009-07-28T14:03:00.004-04:00

Wow, nothing makes a girl feel better than realizing she could fail as a human being if she isn't beautiful enough. It's bad enough that this so-called "beauty race" is haunting us in media and leaking into everyday life, but to read that there is scientific data arguing that the more beautiful we are the more successful our genes/the female half of the human race will be... Well, Fuck. That's a lot of pressure! Not only that, it makes me feel pretty average knowing that there are so many beautiful women out there competing with us for the male population which has, to put it bluntly, reached a stasis of attractiveness. Which is kind of our fault, isn't it? Thankfully, the female half of the population is less shallow than the male half. Only by a little.

What will this eventually mean? Maybe in the not-too-distant future we'll have a bitchin' hot and intelligent female population and we can rule the world like crazy sexy Amazon-esque women. A girl can dream!

So...

2009-07-27T12:11:00.004-04:00

Did anyone else have that lesson in 3rd grade health class about proper hygiene and how to shower correctly? They taught us that you should start at your head and work down to your feet. You know, wash your hair and face before you wash your body. Sometimes, I get into the shower and I'm like, "Fuck that. I'm going to start with my feet and make my way UP!" Because it's all a conspiracy, right? It totally is. They brainwashed us into thinking that was the only correct way to shower! So, I get in the shower determined to show them how wrong they are. "I'm so going to do it this time!", I always tell myself. Fuck them!

I can never bring myself to do it. Because, what if they are right? Fuck!

My dream:

2009-06-08T11:53:00.002-04:00

Temma and I went to Sean’s house. I’m not sure why, but Sean was confused when we got there. He was wearing high-top sneakers and sweatpants with a lizard on them. That may have been why he was confused. We went inside his house and immediately started doing dishes. His mom, who was actually Ben’s mom, started telling me I need to run more often and that riding my bike was worthless. I was concerned. Temma and I left after Sean said something along the lines of, “Whatever, I do what I want” when we asked if he wanted to come out with us. We went across the street to the supermarket and wandered around. The train station was attached to the supermarket, so we decided to leave from there. The station had a set of normal stairs, a set of escalators, and a set of “dog” stairs. I assumed that the dogs had a separate car on the train, and I wanted to go to that car. Before I got to the stairs, I saw Tom and Erica. They had just gotten home from a trip and were really tired. Erica when up one set of stairs, and Tom went up another. Then, Sean appeared and was running around at the bottom of the stairs. Tom started mumbling something to me and started to run up the “normal” stairs. In a panic I ran up the “dog” stairs to see if I could catch him. I lost him, but saw a lot of dogs. When I got home, all of the power was out in my apartment. I was convinced that my years of Chemistry knowledge could help my put the power back on. My room mate came home as I was working, and I explained the situation. She did not believe me. That’s all I remember.

2008-04-11T10:18:00.002-04:00

“When we're incomplete, we're always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we're still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with somebody more promising. This can go on and on--series polygamy--until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter.”

Tom Robbins

2007-11-24T12:26:00.001-05:00

Sometimes I wonder if I'll end up like my dad. At 49, his only friend gone to Colorado or some equally ridiculous place, he's just a lonely guy. I don't want to be a lonely woman. Even though he has a family that loves him and a job that he's been at for decades, life without friends is still pretty lonesome. I'm a lot like my dad in the sense that I'm a bit closed off, and I have trouble taking some things seriously. I hope that doesn't cause me to be alone. Being alone sometimes feels like a gift, but the nagging feeling of someday being friendless is devastating. I get a bad feeling in my stomach. My back spasms just that small amount more with pain. Ugh. I need to stop being depressed about the future. Puppies may be the answer. Yes, I think puppies are ALWAYS the answer.

2007-10-09T09:17:00.002-04:00

Last night I decided to fast for a day. I read a little about Ramadan. I haven't decided to take up religion randomly, I simply thought it was a nice idea. It felt okay. I didn't eat dinner. I read Zodiac for about 4 hours or so. When I went to bed, I was very thirsty. Other than that, I was great. This morning I brought in a Clif bar just in case, but I had no plans to eat it. It was for emergencies. Unfortunately, there were muffins in the lunch room. Blueberry muffins. Sometimes a muffin constitutes as an emergency.

2007-09-14T11:06:00.002-04:00

"If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?" - Scott Adams

2007-08-07T11:04:00.001-04:00

I picked up some cheese and antipasti from DiBruno Brothers last night. One of the cheeses, Edel De Cleron, is simply amazing. I have to make sure we get this again in the future. We also got some asiago and provlone, as well as some marinated mozzerella and artichoke. Yum!

2007-08-04T21:09:00.002-04:00

I've always done what I wanted, no matter what the outcome. I don't think I'll ever change. I'm just hardheaded like that.

2007-07-10T11:40:00.000-04:00

Dear Dakota,

You are amazing. Everyday, you amaze me by doing something cute or clever that barely masks the vast intelligence behind those baby blues (and brown). We found you at a shelter, where all the dogs around you were barking and calling out for attention. You were so depressed, you leaned quietly against the chain-link fence hoping someone would come and pet you, to make even the worst of situations a little better. I don't know where you came from, or what happened to you in your past. Whoever lost you or gave you up, lost something so precious that I tear up just thinking of not having you in my life. We have worked so hard to get you to be the great dog you could be, and I know deep down that you are trying too. I can see it in your eyes when you sit for me when I have a treat or when we are going out for a walk. I can even see it when we try to get you to speak to us. You truly want to, but someone somewhere probably told you it was not okay, so you are not sure that you should. We want you to be happy. We want you to feel like you were meant to be with us, even if you couldn't possible understand that concept. I feel like you were meant to be with us. I have no doubts that you were there at the shelter that day just waiting for us to come get you. We will love you and care for you forever. You are such a good dog. The best dog.

Love,

Liz and Paul

2007-07-03T10:17:00.000-04:00

The alarms went off in my building early this morning, at about 4am. Fuckers.

oi vey...

2007-06-26T12:38:00.000-04:00

J read my horoscope at work today. It read, "That old childish desire to fit in never really goes away. The only thing is, you were completely meant to stand out!", and I nearly choked on my pretzel.

2007-04-27T10:37:00.001-04:00

Oh journal, I've left you stranded in this dark and scary hole of the internet. Never again. Please forgive me for only coming to you when I am down. I owe you a greater debt than I could possibly repay.

Today, it is raining frogs and hogs, and it really does get me down. My horoscope tells me I'm thinking of some kind of metaphorical buried treasure, which might be the truest thing I've ever heard, though who knows what truth really is. To be honest, I think truth is like an ocean (Yes, the same ocean you threw me in a few months ago [how harsh the truth can be sometimes, even when it isn't that deep!]), and the deeper you go, the more pressure it puts on you to escape it. Some people can endure a life accepting the truths of everything to come at them, and some people break under the pressure. Perhaps that's why some people (like me) are so delusional? Maybe, but the buried treasure is so deep in that ocean I'm afraid I might not come back alive after my search.

2007-02-08T21:06:00.000-05:00

My mom is in the hospital. She had a appendectomy. My dad has heart disease and his doctor told him he has to wear his c-pap to bed or he could die during his sleep. I'm sick as a dog and I'm alone doing laundry. Boo.

2007-01-22T15:32:00.000-05:00

Why is it that all the men in my life are pussies? I think I'm more ballsy than any of them combined. Arg, oh well.

2007-01-06T17:52:00.001-05:00

Ah, fuck it.

2007-01-04T01:22:00.000-05:00

Ever feel like you could have written a song you are hearing? Or that you want to have someone listen to a song because you couldn't have said it better? Well, that's our solution to the world, ladies and 'gents. Whip it!

Crack that whip! Break your momma's back!

2006-12-31T12:01:00.001-05:00

I'm sure we've all heard those motivational speeches on T.V. or in movies, or perhaps in person, telling us if we want something, we should get out and find it. I'm going to tell you all right now, that is entirely impossible most times in this world. Most times, we are usually persuaded to choose something we wouldn't have otherwise desired purely by advertising, suppression, or even forced by legal or unwritten law. So there you have it. I'm pissed off at the world for being a giant fucking hypocrite.

You make me feel so unhappy that I want you to never be happy again. And unhappy is a loose term. I would say you make me feel.. like you threw me into the deep sea and then jumped in next to me just to watch me suffer. And I'm still angry at you for not ever being around. Maybe mostly because you not being around means you are happy somewhere else. And I hate that.

Thank you.

2006-12-28T17:17:00.001-05:00

"It is a common delusion that you make things better by talking about them." - Dame Rose Macaulay

phrase of the day: "blood is thicker than water, bitch!"

2006-12-10T20:42:00.001-05:00

It has been a great weekend, so far. We got our tree, a nice 6' ish douglas fir. Put some lights on it, some pretty ornaments... I love it, it smells wonderful and makes me a warm and squishy inside. Watched a few episodes of the first season of SNL. Amazing stuff! Seriously, they really did whatever they wanted. Every episode is something else. Went to the Royal Tavern last night, had a grilled cheese with some tomato soup. Hello, yummy. Today I made some delicious chocolate chocolate hazelnut cookies. Yuuuuum.

2006-12-07T21:07:00.000-05:00

It's snowing! Nature (goulet), you just made my life. *sigh*

Time for hot chocolate. :D

2006-11-29T15:34:00.000-05:00

Yeah.. I'm having a bad day. Is it that obvious? Maybe if I was more obvious about who I am I wouldn't get misunderstood all the time.

And, why don't I just work overnight? I swear, I don't even have my fucking work yet today. I will not stand for this.

Blast.

2006-11-09T18:18:00.000-05:00

I am officially dilusional. I was at Rite Aid and I smelled the deodorant. THE deodorant. What kind freak am I!?

2006-11-09T08:17:00.000-05:00

Lately every song on the radio brings me to that place. I can barely stop thinking. Sometimes I don't even open up my eyes because I know it won't be. So stop it, Liz. Stop acting so crazy.

On second thought, let's go horseback riding. I want to feel the wind on my hair, riding through fields of high grass in the crisp air, my big scarf hiding my face from the cold. I want to go back to North Carolina, have a beer and swim in the lake. Get a little sunburnt and swim a little more to ease the burning. Maybe fly a plane. I want to get a little high and lay in the grass and stare at the stars.

Is that so much to ask!?

2006-11-06T12:58:00.000-05:00

Saturday, saturday, saturday. You warm my heart and my senses... I'll keep dreaming of you as long as I can. Under the covers, my hair in your face. Yes, I would love to, even though I said no. Okay?

2006-11-03T16:56:00.000-05:00

Happy fucking friday everyone. I have felt sick to my stomach ever since last night. I want to bury myself under the covers and sleep, but I won't.

I bought Paul a light for his bike and helmet and a balaclava. I am a nice girlfriend... Did that sound forced at all?

2006-11-01T15:03:00.000-05:00

I had a major deva-vu just now, as Jen was sitting across from me at work talking to June. It's a love/hate relationship with it for me. The possibility that it's just a lousy feeling bothers the hell out of me. Sometimes I wonder if I'm a prophet or a dreamer. If I was a prophet, what kind of mad dealings would I be spreading? I have been practically unconsious all day today, who knows what kind of crap I might start saying if someone handed me a microphone.

I want to go to sleep. I want my hair to be long again like it was when I was young. I want a big fluffy dog to cuddle with me on the couch. I want you to kiss me out of the blue. See, those things would make me happy. Time to get working on them.

2006-10-27T13:41:00.000-04:00

"Happiness is always a by-product. It is probably a matter of temperament, and for anything I know it may be glandular. But it is not something that can be demanded from life, and if you are not happy you had better stop worrying about it and see what treasures you can pluck from your own brand of unhappiness." - Robertson Davies

I pulled that little tid-bit from google quotes on my homepage, one of the best ones I've read so far. Some people say or write things that completely blow my mind. My mind has been blown. It's as though it's something that's been waiting to be said for millions of years, and 50 or so years after it's said, it's put out there, blowing peoples minds. Am I not making sense? That's because my mind is so blown, I can barely speak. Barely...

2006-10-19T21:33:00.000-04:00

Things that are amazing today:

^my gift hanging in the closet
^cake at 9am
^my mom singing 'happy birthday' to me over the phone
^not having a very stressful day at work
^one pair of black heels with wooden soles
^one pair of patent leather mary jane pumps
^sweaters
^paul
^delicious food and drinking framboise
^relaxing

*sigh* Happy Birthday to me.

2006-09-28T08:39:00.001-04:00

Here at work, there is a rail yard right next door. Sometimes in the early morning I can hear them sounding off when they come into the yard. It reminds me of the suburbs. Quiet moments in the car with people I love. Mirah lilting from the stereo, my icy breathe fogging the windows. Today, the trains make me want to warm myself under mountainous piles of blankets. When it comes time to turn the clock back, I'm not so sure I'll survive it. I'm not so sure about anything.

2006-09-14T11:24:00.000-04:00

Can you believe that we are half-way through this month already? I have the beginnings of a cold right now, which I plan on conquering. I was wondering why I have been exhausted lately, and today it kicked me right in the face. The way I feel right now can only be described by the onomatopoeia 'ugh'. I would definitely consider that an onomatopoeia, by the way, for I sound the way I feel. Today, I will eat all my vegetables and drink lots of tea. Tomorrow, I will be better than ever, right?

In other news, Paul and I have put ourselves on a budget. I love this idea. I definitely need help budget-wise, and taking control of the planning is helping me understand my flaws. Though, they were pretty obvious to begin with.

Today is the beginning of the last quarter of this month. We know what that means, right? Oh yes, PMS. Let’s go. It's on.

2006-09-11T09:50:00.000-04:00

'Twas a very good weekend. Among other things, we finished painting our living room. We had done all but one wall, and considering the time it took us to do it, you'd think it was the Great Wall of China. Our living room now feels seperate from the rest of the house, like a little nook to cuddle in, a cranny to croon in. It's painted a light purple-blue, a blue that reminds me of a cool, bright morning. The first couple of days we were in the house, I made a lamp out of a wine bottle that Paul loves (Red Bicyclette), with a dark blue lampshade. I put the lamp on a small book shelf in the corner and switched it on. I put a little flower pot with (fake) red, orange and yellow carnations practically overflowing everywhere on top of our tv, and they popped out from the walls. The room was completely different, it had a new mood. A calm and soothing mood. That was just what we needed to lure us in and keep us there. I promptly fell asleep.

2006-09-07T00:03:00.000-04:00

Do you ever feel like howling at the moon? Tonight, I do.

2006-09-06T00:02:00.000-04:00

I see you everywhere I want to, and I just don't like it.

Edit (unrelated):

Is it possible to fall in love with a fictional character? Lordy.

2006-09-05T16:27:00.000-04:00

You shouldn't misinterpret my mystery for some off form of betrayal or aberration. I understand though, the only person I know who is worse than me is my father. The most straight-forward, obstinate man I know, yet still retains a immense and cryptic form of depth.

2006-09-05T11:05:00.000-04:00

I had a great weekend. Paul and I did many things. Most important of them all, we went to New York City, and visited the Guggenheim. We saw the Zaha Hadid exhibit. She is an amazing architect, and she reminds me very much of the Fountainhead. Her work is futuristic and organic, and at the same time, and she encompasses the public space and well being into her building. Check her out, she is a genius.

In other news, I have finished Fierce Invalids Home from Hot Climates. The ending was less intense than Jitterbug Perfume but it definitely left me satisfied. In Jitterbug, the very last sentence of the book made the story complete. I started to read Atlas Shrugged this morning, but I promptly started to fall asleep. I will re-start it when I get home from work today, it's too hard to start a book when I am exhausted. I definitely could have used another day, but I'm not sure if I would have felt better coming back to work later, or if I would have felt better missing another day. Hmm...

2006-09-01T11:16:00.000-04:00

Today, I bought Linguistics: An Introduction by Andrew Radford, Martin Atkinson, David Britain, Harald Clahsen, and Andrew Spencer. (I hope it doesn't take that many people to read this book!) The other book about the lost languages is apparently for a skill level I have not quite reached. So, being fascinated, I am starting to read up on linguistics. It all sounds so easy, but I assure you it isn't. Originially I was going to get The Story of Writing by Andrew Robinson, thinking I would be on the right track, but no, I was being mislead. Apparently in linguistics, writing is considered to be secondary to speech. Makes quite a bit of sense considering you don't start to learn to write until atleast a few years after you learn to talk. So, now that I'm on the right track, I shall be writing novels on deciphering scripts before Einstein can come back to life and exclaim "Eureka!".

Which is to say, that will never happen...

2006-08-31T10:02:00.000-04:00

This book I'm reading, Fierce Invalids Home from Hot Climates (Tom Robbins), deals a lot with hypocrisy. The lead character "Switters" is a vegetarian, but eats gravy. Hates the government but works for the CIA. Dispises organized religion but is considering joining the Catholic faith. It really makes hypocrisy hilarious to me. It's definitely taken the edge off a lot of things that used to bother me. I strongly recommend it. I have been on a Tom Robbins binge lately, and I just bought his first book yesterday Another Roadside Attraction along with Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. I am pretty much going to force myself to read Altas Shrugged before another Robbins book (though Paul demands I hurry up and read Even Cowgirls Get the Blues so we can watch the movie [I heard it sucked]). I might even read Lost Languages: The Enigma of the World's Undeciphered Scripts (Andrew Robinson) as well, before allowing myself to move onto Robbins. I might become a girl obsessed. Pretty soon I'll be moving to Seattle and stalking him. I'll throw beets at him. He'll never know it was me!

2006-08-30T10:05:00.000-04:00

Fugitive polygamist sect leader nabbed in Vegas

"Jeffs reportedly banned television, newspaper, radio and media of any kind, including the Internet.
He also banned holidays, the colour red, and laughter."

2006-08-29T20:08:00.000-04:00

This is the worst week ever (exaggeration). In fact, it's as though the worst weekend ever is overflowing and it is spewing it's schmutz all over everything around it. Ruined! My favorite pair of shoes, with schmutz filling the toes. I got into a lovely little debacle today. My car got it's schmutz all over another car in a far off place that even the police were questioning how the schmutz got into a crack that small. Thankfully, my fellow pilot agreed that the schmutz was becoming far too prevalant these days. Dank and nasty, it leaves a sticky trail wherever it goes. We frowned, and the police came.

Sigh.

2006-08-27T23:45:00.000-04:00

The lovely Maurer Wedding. Click to see.

2006-08-25T14:36:00.000-04:00

Lately, I've been pretty conflicted by my views on movies and books. I enjoy them, they transport me. I am afraid that I am not living my life fully by absorbing myself in someone else's life so wholly. I've read three books in less than two weeks. What could I have done during that time to experience reality? Am I masking my life behind fiction? During work I read profusely. There honestly isn't much else for me to do, especially in the realm of experience, so I feel it may be appropriate then. Yet, when I get home, instead of stepping outside and seeing new things, I yearn to step inside and experience someone else's cooked-up travels. A life or experience that someone else has created to entertain whoever may pick up the book or movie. Makes me sad, even sick.

Perhaps I should stick to non-fiction or documentary? But then, will I still be experiencing something that wasn't meant to be my experience, even though it really happened?

Ugh, I need a motrin. To dull yet another of my own stone-cold realities. Cramps.

Edit:

Revelations! No, not the hair-raising short story in the you-know-what. Realizations, may them be small or large, that may change your day or change your life. Today, it was somewhere in between.

2006-08-23T15:36:00.000-04:00

Why is it when I am shopping for tampons, I am constantly forced to label my flow? Why must I conform to regular, super, or ultra super? What if I find my flow to be spectacular, or perhaps outta-this-world? Where can I buy tampons to help me express that my monthly visitor is so looked forward to that I blow up my fancy air mattress and give it my best sheets? How can I ever show my feelings, when my choices are regular, super, or ultra super? It is certainly not regular, infact, I have an over-abundance of "regular" tampons floating around my bathroom and bedroom. They never seemed to fit my flow's style quite right. And super and ultra-super... If someone told you you were "ultra-super", how flattered would you really be? Would you really feel welcome in their house, or would you find yourself feeling alienated and unwanted. Please, my fabulous moon visitor, come back to me every month. Our affair is rather fulfilling, and I couldn't bear to see you go!

2006-08-23T11:31:00.000-04:00

It's official, I am practicing lunarception. I am NOT trying to concieve, so I guess more appropriately, my cycle is lining up with the big fat moon. Today is the New Moon, and I have starting menstrating. I've never given much thought to it, but after reading about it, I realized that I have been doing it without even trying.