Sometimes I wonder if I'll end up like my dad. At 49, his only friend gone to Colorado or some equally ridiculous place, he's just a lonely guy. I don't want to be a lonely woman. Even though he has a family that loves him and a job that he's been at for decades, life without friends is still pretty lonesome. I'm a lot like my dad in the sense that I'm a bit closed off, and I have trouble taking some things seriously. I hope that doesn't cause me to be alone. Being alone sometimes feels like a gift, but the nagging feeling of someday being friendless is devastating. I get a bad feeling in my stomach. My back spasms just that small amount more with pain. Ugh. I need to stop being depressed about the future. Puppies may be the answer. Yes, I think puppies are ALWAYS the answer.