"If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?" - Scott Adams

I picked up some cheese and antipasti from DiBruno Brothers last night. One of the cheeses, Edel De Cleron, is simply amazing. I have to make sure we get this again in the future. We also got some asiago and provlone, as well as some marinated mozzerella and artichoke. Yum!

I've always done what I wanted, no matter what the outcome. I don't think I'll ever change. I'm just hardheaded like that.

Dear Dakota,

You are amazing. Everyday, you amaze me by doing something cute or clever that barely masks the vast intelligence behind those baby blues (and brown). We found you at a shelter, where all the dogs around you were barking and calling out for attention. You were so depressed, you leaned quietly against the chain-link fence hoping someone would come and pet you, to make even the worst of situations a little better. I don't know where you came from, or what happened to you in your past. Whoever lost you or gave you up, lost something so precious that I tear up just thinking of not having you in my life. We have worked so hard to get you to be the great dog you could be, and I know deep down that you are trying too. I can see it in your eyes when you sit for me when I have a treat or when we are going out for a walk. I can even see it when we try to get you to speak to us. You truly want to, but someone somewhere probably told you it was not okay, so you are not sure that you should. We want you to be happy. We want you to feel like you were meant to be with us, even if you couldn't possible understand that concept. I feel like you were meant to be with us. I have no doubts that you were there at the shelter that day just waiting for us to come get you. We will love you and care for you forever. You are such a good dog. The best dog.

Love,

Liz and Paul

The alarms went off in my building early this morning, at about 4am. Fuckers.

oi vey...

J read my horoscope at work today. It read, "That old childish desire to fit in never really goes away. The only thing is, you were completely meant to stand out!", and I nearly choked on my pretzel.

Oh journal, I've left you stranded in this dark and scary hole of the internet. Never again. Please forgive me for only coming to you when I am down. I owe you a greater debt than I could possibly repay.

Today, it is raining frogs and hogs, and it really does get me down. My horoscope tells me I'm thinking of some kind of metaphorical buried treasure, which might be the truest thing I've ever heard, though who knows what truth really is. To be honest, I think truth is like an ocean (Yes, the same ocean you threw me in a few months ago [how harsh the truth can be sometimes, even when it isn't that deep!]), and the deeper you go, the more pressure it puts on you to escape it. Some people can endure a life accepting the truths of everything to come at them, and some people break under the pressure. Perhaps that's why some people (like me) are so delusional? Maybe, but the buried treasure is so deep in that ocean I'm afraid I might not come back alive after my search.

My mom is in the hospital. She had a appendectomy. My dad has heart disease and his doctor told him he has to wear his c-pap to bed or he could die during his sleep. I'm sick as a dog and I'm alone doing laundry. Boo.

Why is it that all the men in my life are pussies? I think I'm more ballsy than any of them combined. Arg, oh well.

Ah, fuck it.

Ever feel like you could have written a song you are hearing? Or that you want to have someone listen to a song because you couldn't have said it better? Well, that's our solution to the world, ladies and 'gents. Whip it!


Crack that whip! Break your momma's back!

I'm sure we've all heard those motivational speeches on T.V. or in movies, or perhaps in person, telling us if we want something, we should get out and find it. I'm going to tell you all right now, that is entirely impossible most times in this world. Most times, we are usually persuaded to choose something we wouldn't have otherwise desired purely by advertising, suppression, or even forced by legal or unwritten law. So there you have it. I'm pissed off at the world for being a giant fucking hypocrite.

You make me feel so unhappy that I want you to never be happy again. And unhappy is a loose term. I would say you make me feel.. like you threw me into the deep sea and then jumped in next to me just to watch me suffer. And I'm still angry at you for not ever being around. Maybe mostly because you not being around means you are happy somewhere else. And I hate that.

Thank you.

"It is a common delusion that you make things better by talking about them." - Dame Rose Macaulay

phrase of the day: "blood is thicker than water, bitch!"

It has been a great weekend, so far. We got our tree, a nice 6' ish douglas fir. Put some lights on it, some pretty ornaments... I love it, it smells wonderful and makes me a warm and squishy inside. Watched a few episodes of the first season of SNL. Amazing stuff! Seriously, they really did whatever they wanted. Every episode is something else. Went to the Royal Tavern last night, had a grilled cheese with some tomato soup. Hello, yummy. Today I made some delicious chocolate chocolate hazelnut cookies. Yuuuuum.

It's snowing! Nature (goulet), you just made my life. *sigh*

Time for hot chocolate. :D

Yeah.. I'm having a bad day. Is it that obvious? Maybe if I was more obvious about who I am I wouldn't get misunderstood all the time.

And, why don't I just work overnight? I swear, I don't even have my fucking work yet today. I will not stand for this.

Blast.

I am officially dilusional. I was at Rite Aid and I smelled the deodorant. THE deodorant. What kind freak am I!?

Lately every song on the radio brings me to that place. I can barely stop thinking. Sometimes I don't even open up my eyes because I know it won't be. So stop it, Liz. Stop acting so crazy.

On second thought, let's go horseback riding. I want to feel the wind on my hair, riding through fields of high grass in the crisp air, my big scarf hiding my face from the cold. I want to go back to North Carolina, have a beer and swim in the lake. Get a little sunburnt and swim a little more to ease the burning. Maybe fly a plane. I want to get a little high and lay in the grass and stare at the stars.

Is that so much to ask!?

Saturday, saturday, saturday. You warm my heart and my senses... I'll keep dreaming of you as long as I can. Under the covers, my hair in your face. Yes, I would love to, even though I said no. Okay?

Happy fucking friday everyone. I have felt sick to my stomach ever since last night. I want to bury myself under the covers and sleep, but I won't.

I bought Paul a light for his bike and helmet and a balaclava. I am a nice girlfriend... Did that sound forced at all?